In short: it's the (checks calendar) thirty-sixth transitional year in a row! Ha ha, life is exhausting! But also: extremely good. Here's the haps as they presently stand:
- I continue to be gloriously employed by some swell-o-rama folk who support my attempts to springboard to a position closer to what my degree prepares me to do. There are enough inspirational students and right-thinking leaders in the space that I'm real content being here until the right next gig comes along. (Do I still sort of grind my teeth at the cultural idea that Entrepreneurship Will Save Us? Sure do! But I don't think this is a space of kool-ade drinkers, and I likes that.)
- The job hunt is underway; this year I missed most of the tenure track cycle postings, since I had to focus hard on finishing the dissertation. I'm taking meetings and sending materials around at Chicago-area colleges for possible adjunct work in the fall, and after a few months of putting it all on hold to be a person again, am starting to think vaguely intelligently about what the next phase of that search will look like. At present, I've got a (short!) list of places that I feel comfortable relocating to for the right job, and I know that I'd rather aim at small liberal arts colleges than research one universities.
- ...which, altogether, given how the job market works in my field, means I'm mostly looking at non-teaching work here in Chicago. I love teaching as much as anything I got to do in grad school, and hope that at some point those opportunities will be there (and I'll jump for 'em) but I also know how bad book-length research and writing was for my mental health. Yeah, there were other factors, but: gots to know m'self and take care of m'self. If not me, who, etc. etc.
- So that basically means I'm looking at administrative work, still within the academy by and large. Had a great courtesy meeting with NU career services that gave me both confidence and clarity in how to search and pursue those openings, but maybe the best thing coming out of the meeting was a confirmation that I'm able to clearly articulate what I want the next role to look like. (Academically engaged, student facing, ideally in a linking role between different arms of the university.) I am, by all appearances, qualified.
That's day jobbery. What about the life I get to lead without being paid (well) for it?
- I'm cast in a show with my old friend and frequent collaborator Jess Hutchinson. It starts rehearsing in March and goes up in May, by which time I'm hoping to have headshots that reflect how I actually look these days (terrible!) and to have started audition-hunting.
- Between that, the depleted vacation bank post-Japan, and some nascent savings goals (see below) I'm easing off on travel for the year. Relatively speaking.
- Kat (my sister) is getting married in California this April, which I'm turning into my (finally!) first trip to L.A., and I'm graduating in May, which will give me a chance to revisit New England one last li'l time with no stressful schoolwork to weigh on me. Those are both trips I'm very excited about.
- I'm also sneaking down to Mexico City for a quick getaway in early March, half-keeping a promise I made myself last year to get somewhere sunny and warm once a month through the Jan-April stretch of Permanent Winter In Chicago. A last-minute airfare and a crazy cheap and lovely hotel unlocked the possibility, and now I just need to practice my ability to not try to see/do too much, and give myself permission to lounge in a park all long-weekend-long if that's what I need by the time I get there. Still and all: I'm excited!
- After those, I'm probably staying put for the year. I've settled into an every-other-year pace for New Year's travel, which suits me well, and last year I felt I missed out on Chicago summer by dint of travel and dissertation madness. I'm really excited to get some summer-and-holiday hometown relaxation and friend-joy in.
- Friend-joy balance has also been really grand this year, with the enforced hermitage of my past 2-3 years of writing behind me. And while I'm still perfecting the "quiet nights at home vs. adventures with pals" balance, which is extra hard in the coldest bits of winter, I'm really delighted to rediscover how much energy I get from being around good, nontoxic, thoughtful humans! Hooray for all of that, probably, and hooray for 2019 being a year of focusing on that.
- But I'm also insane so there's an outside chance I'll road trip to Minnesota with some friends in July, or sneak up for a Twins-and-state-fair weekend in August. Look, I'm trying.
- Getting back in shape: I was in the best shape of my 30s both summers when I got back from Europe, and every time I started working on my dissertation again, my stress eating kicked back in. (Hi, emotional associations are a thing!) After six months of a last push, I've got some betterment to get back to, especially after a couple of months off my glorious bike commute, and so I'm working on eating reasonably and mindfully and trying to get in good condition by the time rehearsals are underway for the new show. Weh?
- On the dating front, hilariously, having set it all aside to finish my writing, and having had a smattering of more-or-less-serious relationships in the past couple of years, I took a level look at how I'd been feeling about it and decided to put it all on the back burner. I'm open to discovery and partnership in the future, but I definitely feel good about taking some time for me, being aware that partnership will come with sacrifices and trade-offs, and making sure that when I make that decision it's not Just To Be With Someone, but to be with a specific person who's worth the time and independence that I'll be trading away. Which all sounds a lot more fatuous than I mean it to: basically I'm enjoying liking me for me, and I'm happy to wait until I bump into someone who feels the same way rather than swiping on apps in some weirdzo Quest For Another.
Mostly, this year is about trying to find the shape I want my life to have, making plans lightly while I wait to see what some of the big changes look like (job, where I live, etc.). Chicago's likely to be home for the long haul, though, so I'm taking some early steps to look at home ownership. I've done an alarmingly good job of saving money even with all the travel (god love a good budget, and the splitting of paychecks to hide money from myself) to the degree that I've now got a little pot set aside. Combined with a couple of state and city first-time homebuyer grants, it's not impossible to imagine this could happen in the next 1-3 years!
The dream, really, is to end up in a situation where the mortgage/insurance/HOA/etc. all ends up being roughly what I pay now, but with the prospect of some (even if not all) of that money coming back to me if and when I move. I could care less about property-as-investment, which I think post-2006 we all have to assume is no longer a real thing. And I do like the idea of being able to get the design of my living space the way I like it. But primarily it's about freeing up that mental space - knowing I'm not throwing money away every month on rent, and (hopefully) being able to settle into a nicely balanced save-a-little, travel-a-lot routine while knowing I don't need to save for another big-ticket item.
Who knows! I've had lots of life plans fall apart or take wild U-turns, and I've also lived with myself long enough to know that I have fascinations that I love researching only to decide they're not for me long-term. But that's the big possibility on the horizon. We'll see if anything comes of it.
I think that's about it! Now you know all there is to know about Pat!
(except for my many s e c r e t s)
