The lord alps those who alps themselves, etc etc

Hey dumdums, guess who isn't dead: it's me! The guy who blogs sometimes but apparently literally never when school is in session, or even over winter break! SO: yes, turns out directing a show and teaching overload levels by community college standards while my program's enrollment actually starts inching toward the "hey not bad!" levels we seem to be approaching... is not conducive to taking weekends to pleasantly relax and look at my summer travels! Time management: who needs it!

 

Anyhow: I found a moment today where I didn't feel crushingly behind on things, and so I figured we may as well restart this blog's slow, methodical, sluglike squirm towards the contemporary (which will eventually include a complicated reckoning with my trip to Morocco this winter break, fulfilling a 2020 dream that got dashed for obvious reasons)... by trying to remember what Switzerland was like in July of 2022! After the jump: buncha dumb rocks.

look at this idiot. cows aren't even real.

SO: Switzerland was fascinating in a few ways. First: yes, it's as efficient and polished as you've heard, and for a train lover like your idiot boy here, hoo golly was it heaven. It's the kind of place where, as your train approaches the station, the screens quietly start listing what connecting trains are due next and what platform they're on. By the end of a week there I caught myself making decisions like "well I have three minutes to change trains at this station, that'll be fine." Apart from the massive transit failure on my way to Bologna, Italian rail had actually been non-sterotypically reliable (and to be clear, I love trains in all seasons of life and under all circumstances) but this was: good. Also: expensive, as was everything else. My advice is: pay for a Swiss rail pass if you're gonna be there for a week, take the hit early, and let your brain ignore it as you zip back and forth on lifts and trains. It's a magical system and sometimes magic costs.

choo choo, in my opinion!!!!

Of course, I'm being a bit cheeky/idiotic because Switzerland has more than just trains! It also has uninteresting cuisine I kid I kid it has those big mountains you are always hearing about. "The rockies," "the smoky mountains of Switzerland," "the big stick-up rock blorts." And guess what: it's pretty gorgeous there!

 

Schwarz Mönch beer also very nice. Arguably a good place, Switzerland.

After a couple days in Luzern (which was idyllic and full of tourists - Switzerland having a high concentration of Indian tourists in particular, apparently due to the alps standing in for holy mountains in India where it's much more complicated to get filming permits in Bollywood film) I was pretty much based in the Lauterbrunen valley, sleeping in Gimmelwald and going on hikes pretty much whenever possible. This was lovely, as my weird Milan-specific allergies cleared up, and often also charming. There were a lot of little trust shops: single-family homes that had a fridge out front with a jar for money (or in some cases, a QR code for digital payments!) if you wanted to grab a pint of milk, a wedge of cheese, a bit of meat, etc. It made me curious about the many long-distance trails you can hike across the country, sleeping in hay lofts and alpine huts and snacking like this along the way. Again: not dirt cheap (but not as expensive as a restaurant meal, either.)

ugh.

Switzerland's reputation for sterility is also a little bit earned, to be honest. I was delighted by my inn's lively German manager and her charmingly taciturn partner, but elsewhere things were a bit chilly. In marked contrast to Italy, wearing a mask on transit seemed to be something people assumed you were only doing if you were sick (or a weirdo? In either case, you got looks that I hadn't seen since I left semirural Michigan). 

 

There were some exceptions to these complicated vibes - some corners of Zurich that I saw during a too-brief day wandering the city had a laid-back artsy vibe and the folk followed suit... but in general, Switzerland was stately but a little less engaging than I like. I continue to wonder how much my (incredibly and increasingly beloved in my memory) time in Sicily skewed my perspective on all the other cultures on this trip, as even northern Italy had felt a bit formal. In this instance, the formality and expense balanced against the unbeatable natural appeal to make it a good week... but one that I was perfectly happy to leave behind as I kept lurching northward toward the UK. Up next: a delightful swoop through Paris en route to my British pals!

COWS IN THE MIST