After the jump: running??? WHY.
Early one morning a few weeks ago, a little fed up at my lack of progress in getting back in shape after having stress-eaten my way through the final push on my dissertation, I looked at the running shoes I'd bought last year after giving into the rhapsodies of my friends Emily and Chelsea. I'd run exactly once since then, twisted my ankle, and decided "maybe later," which of course had never come around. (There's a lot of self-care that working on the dissertation justified putting off!)
Okay fine I grumbled to myself. I'd been dealing with some body-shame issues since my Boston years (a legacy of the depression-related weight gain and some unhealthy/unkind relationship talk) but this year I'd already realized how much better my brain/feelings function when I bike to/from work, about 90 minutes a day, and I figured running might be another way to support myself on all possible fronts. Rolling out of bed and into the living room, I pulled my phone out from its overnight home and, sleep-groggy, googled "Running guide NYT." The page that pulled up was a great overview of running: things to avoid, things to look for, and a host of training programs for various race lengths. The best advice, and the most effective in my infant-baby running life, was from an experienced marathon runner and coach who advocates for a run-walk approach. Inexperienced runners run for 30 seconds to a minute, then walk for two; intermediate go about 2-to-1 or 2-to-2, and advanced runners will walk for a minute or so every 6-8 minutes. The idea is not to catch your breath so much as to let your muscles recover, relax, and stretch before the next round of punishing velocity (I guess, for people who run "fast").
Anyhow. I threw on a pair of gym shorts, a tee, my running shoes, and a Red Sox cap (making the snap decision not to sweat into my more-beloved Twins cap) and started off on a twenty-minute run.
Reader, I am now a runner.
The system is working really well for me! Tuesdays and Thursdays I run for twenty-to-thirty-minute intervals, and Sundays I go for my "long" run. In all instances, running is the first thing I do; I know as my long runs get longer I'll start needing a pre-run snack, but so far especially on the weekday runs I've known that if I delay before getting out the door, I'll likely talk myself out of it. Today, for a four-mile jaunt, I actually did slow-walk my way out of the apartment, so hopefully as my brain recognizes the good that running is doing it, I'll get so good at being willing to run that I could even run in the evening! Stranger things have happened!
Here's why I like running: it's pretty zen! Even more so than bike riding, you can't do much while running; even if you run with earbuds in, the music is sort of a distant second to the moment-to-moment of the world. That's key, too - sports that put me in the world in an exploring mode (biking, running, rowing) all activate me in ways that sitting in a gym never have (yet). So as great as the runner's high is or that endorphin rush at the end of a run, the seeing and the being are hugely important to me.
Most important of all, though, I think, is the learning curve. One of the things I'm unlearning from grad school is the need to Be On Top Of Things. It's a terrible instinct even by academia's own standards, but grad students love falling into the trap of needing to know and be good at whatever's in front of them. That manifested in tons of terrible ways for me, but one way that's lingered is that I'm not always patient with myself in learning new skills or habits. Running is different: you are supposed to have a gradual curve, for risk of injury, and even when training for a marathon, you're constantly being dropped back to "short" runs on your long run days, because it's what your body needs. The unforgiving nature of running is that you have to be forgiving to your body or it all falls apart. So having the project-goal but needing to be kind to myself moment-to-moment is really good for me too.
Which is a roundabout way of saying, I may be training for a distance run. I don't think I'm ever gonna be someone who Runs Marathons, but if I stick to my current plan, I'll run a half-marathon in October (I'm thinking North Carolina) and if that isn't a train wreck, I'll press on for a full marathon next spring. If nothing else, it'll require me to keep exercising aggressively through winter, when I will have to re-enter those boring old gyms and (ugh!!!!) work on improving myself.
So. That's running. (That and learning how to sew and tailor are my major summer projects!) (Post-grad school summer is awesome beyond belief!) Let's all please cross our fingers that my feet quite literally do not fail me, because holy moly what a good new addition to my life.
